Wednesday, November 18, 2015

I Could've Been a Hunter...or a Shark...

I can't believe this is the post I'm writing,
after months of saying I'm going to work on my blog.......
i need to work on my blog.........
today is blog day.
But it never happened.  Until today.
Today is the day I can say...........I'm BAAAACK!  
Lucky You! :)
* * *May include a rant.  

My day started at 6 a.m.  
Got up, made coffee, took the boys out, started a grocery list,
sent my family off to work, ready to start my day with a little quiet "ME" time 
(devotion, pinterest, stretching) 
when out of the corner of my eye I see something.
A smallish lizard runs from my sliding glass doors over to my couch and slips under it.
I HATE those things.
I work SO hard to keep them from getting in my house and let me tell you,
that is no easy task living in South Florida. 
But my success rate has been pretty good.
However, this changes everything.
My plans are scrapped........I have a creepy lizard to find.

Now, before some of y'all who are big hearted, nature loving peeps start
lecturing me about how they are "harmless".......
that they actually "eat bugs"............PLEASE.  Don't.
Save it for somebody else.
I don't care if they eat bugs.
I kill those too!!!  
Yep.........if they get in MY house they will not survive.
I wonder if this is why I have this crazy fascination with sharks.
Because they must feel this way too.
You go in THEIR home and all bets are off.
Maybe instead of my girls calling me mamabear my name should be

Back to my plans for the day.........
as I said, they've changed.  
No quiet time for me because I refuse to share it with a lizard.
So, since I saw with my own eyes him crawl under the sofa, I start there.
Now you need to know I really do try to have the house picked up
before I go to bed so I wake up and it looks nice.
It looked so cozy this morning.
Then this.
Immediately I strip the slipcovers and start throwing them in the washing machine.

That sofa is BARE!  
My poor dogs don't know what to think.
 I move everything aside, 
vacuum and mop everywhere.
Inspect the UNDERSIDE of the sofa.
Shake out and vacuum the area rug.
Clean under, in and around the other chairs.
Spray Stuff.  Shut doors.
Basically I go crazy and tear the house apart.
Did I mention I immediately texted my husband as he must've been 
less than a mile away at the time.
You see, I noticed a pesky lizard the other day on our SCREENED porch out back
and I asked/told/requested that he NOT leave the sliding doors open until
we find how they're getting in.  Which he forgets constantly.
He said I was overreacting and that lizards couldn't get in there.
So the first person I wanted to notify of my lizard problem was him.
Bet y'all want to know what he said.
"Wow...guess you were right.  Okay...I'll look later."
Ummmm.........not good enough!
So I go back to my manic search for the culprit.
In my mind I'm thinking I should leave it and maybe, in a perfect world,
it will jump out at him when he gets home.
But we don't live in a perfect world and because of that,
it would jump out at ME, so I search.
And clean.

If you're thinking we live with things all the time and don't know it, I understand.
But you see, I KNOW this sucker is in my house.
My ocean.
My little part of the world.
So I hunt for him.
And hunt.
And HUNT some more.
And because I'm talking about hunting,
 I am including my favorite hunting pic for about the 40th time;)
Awesome, right?

Next up, I strip my bed, which I was going to do anyway in order to put my
Christmas bedding on.
And since I'm kinda having one of those days,
one of those manic, ADD kind of days where my mind is racing, 
i'm gonna talk about the Holidays.

I agree the stores should not force us to swallow three holidays 
at once and should slow down.
I don't want PRE-Black Friday deals and besides, I hate that phrase.
It sounds like a massacre or something occurred on "black" friday.
It just doesn't seem right to happily shop for a few special gifts for Christmas on a day that sounds so evil.
And if we NEED these bargains/deals so badly to save a few bucks,
maybe we don't need to spend the money in the first place.
But that's just me...getting old and opinionated! lol
It is something to think about though.

BUT, could y'all PLEASE let me choose which holidays are a priority to me?
Let me just be the bad guy and say Halloween and Thanksgiving are
not a big deal to me.
I love little kids in costumes.
I hand out candy.
I make Thanksgiving dinner. 
(although three of us don't really like turkey much.)
Pumpkin pie?  I'd be happy to have it all year.
And I am VERY thankful for everything I have.
But stuffing my face doesn't make me more thankful. lol
It doesn't upset me in the least that Christmas often overshadows Thanksgiving.
But that's me.  And I have that right just as you can insist pumpkins stay in your
home until the last dish is cleaned on Turkey Day.
Now, Christmas, that's another story.  THAT is the one I'm ready for come September.
I would never impose that on anyone but if I feel like skipping Thanksgiving to go
straight to Christmas, who cares?
I'm just gonna say it...I think people make too big a deal over it all.
Like the Starbucks fiasco.  Who cares what color their cups are?
we need to CHILL and be thankful ALL year long and have some of that PEACE on earth all year too.
Seriously, Is someone preventing y'all from eating turkey?

My sister makes one whenever she feels like it, not on the day she is told to make it.
Besides, it has been so frappin hot here that forgive me if I love to decorate my house 
to make me think of Snow. And Christmas trees.
 And Cheer. Goodwill to men.
Pilgrims don't do the same thing for me.
Neither do Zombies or Skeletons.
However, I love a good Snowman. And ANGELS. 
And being more obviously reminded of our Saviour's birth.
So sue me.  But please stop telling me I'm wrong for feeling this way and that you are right
for following a calendar hundreds of years old.
Please don't try to make me feel guilty for wanting to be a happy elf.
My kids are grown.  Someday I hope to have a bunch of grandchildren and
we'll make oreo cookie turkeys.
(You know, the ones i blogged about long ago when i told of one of my fails as a mom?  Don't remember?  Well let me remind you.  My sweet Taylor proudly carried a box of these that we had made to her first grade class as a Thanksgiving treat, only to be told she had to take them home.  They were made not bought.  Bad mommy!!!  I thought because all the ingredients were bought it was ok but apparently the fact that my grimy hands touched the food it was a no go. poor girl was so sad:(  There you have my oreo cookie turkey story:)
But one thing we wont have is green bean casserole.  Kinda yucky.
We will have Thanksgiving dinner by the CHRISTMAS tree with carols playing,
and we'll use my beautiful Christmas dishes.  And maybe watch ELF.
That is OUR tradition.
And I hope you enjoy YOURS!! <3
Okay, now blame the lizard for getting me all wound up.
I really am a fairly happy person.
I'll stop now and continue with my hunt.
Wishing you JOY, my friends!
P.S.  Now Christmas is right around the corner.
And I realize I held off for a turkey.
And y'all know how I feel about turkey.  (here we go again;)
Are you ready???

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