Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Don't Mess With Me...



Because I'm strong.
I can take care of myself.
Even though I wish I didn't have to.
Because of course I would rather be shopping.
Or getting a pedicure.
But we do what needs to be done, right ladies?
And if my girls are around
and you mess with me,
you'll WISH you were dealing with a mama bear

when I'm done with you;)

Seriously!!!

Do I need to prove my point?
Okay...you asked.
(I know you did even though I can't hear you:)

Let's see...
I have become good at fishing things out of my pool.
I don't go running to the neighbor or call my husband to come home
from work.
I used to do that...
but no more.

When I find a sweet turtle,
I gently take him back to the pond across the street.
I very carefully remove the bunny from my pool who got lost and fell in...
and take him somewhere peaceful for his final resting place.
A dead rat?
Yes...fished one of those out...
ON MY BIRTHDAY...
on the morning after our FIRST night in the house.
Yes...I thought it was a bad sign.
Still do.
But I know he must have gotten into someone's poison,
got thirsty and saw my pool full of water...
and died.
In MY pool!!!
Now THAT was creepy...
but I did it.
(Okay, first I called my new pool guy crying
while he explained about chemicals and what I needed to do
and told me it was okay...happens all the time)
Gee, thanks!

But the snake in the pool last week?
Please...
Why me???
My only question for God...who we do not question...but I have to on this one...
is WHY SNAKES?????
(Notice I had to make the letters small.)
Okay, before you write and scold me,
I did try to scoop him out with the long handled pool net.
But he wouldn't stay still and I am NOT playing games here.
SO...
with one good whack of the pool net,
he flipped over and became VERY easy to get out.
Yuck, YUCK, YUCK!!!!!

The car that I do not recognize from my small peaceful neighborhood...
that sneaks into this gated community behind a resident's car...
and parks at night in the empty cul de sac near my house...
AT NIGHT...
for no good reason...
I make sure you KNOW you are seen and busted
and then call the police!
DO NOT come in my neighborhood if you shouldn't be there...
park quietly in a dark spot...
and expect ME to not notice you.
Not when my chicks are around anyway.
So there!


And then last night, while my husband lay sleeping
peacefully...
(sometimes it's just easier to handle things yourself, you know?)
I hear the garage door open.
And we are BOTH home already.
And it is about Midnight!
I take my guard dog Maui,
who is the biggest scaredy cat ever,
and go check it out.


Did I mention that first I grabbed the hand saw that I keep in a special place
for times like this?
Yep...there I was, peeking in the cars, checking out the garage and
EVERY inch of the lower level with my big silly pup.
The one who thinks we're downstairs
because it's time to go out and play fetch in the pool.
But I have my saw, not his football!
Well, nothing there...
but CREEPY!!
When I come back upstairs,
Jordie asked if I could ever use it?
Let's see...
my girls, my dogs and a sleeping husband upstairs...
could I whack someone silly with a saw?
ABSOLUTELY...
and ask questions later.

So while I think I'm a pretty typical Mom,
not too high strung,
just trying to enjoy my days...
Don't Mess With ME!!!
hahaha




3 comments:

  1. scary!!!!!
    ooooo, and your right..why a snake!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, you've handled a lot more than I could ever say I'd want to. I think I'd have to draw the line at snakes for sure!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ok the snake would have done me in!
    I am NOT as brave as you...I would have called hubby! LOL

    I am woman hear me roar!

    Hugz, Dolly

    ReplyDelete

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